Funnite
FUNNITE
My husband and I got married the summer before I started my second year of graduate school. We spent the last month of summer moving from Virginia and settling into our new townhouse about 15 minutes from campus. We started our life together BUSY.
When school started, I was taking a full load of graduate school classes and teaching classes on campus as part of my paid assistantship. My husband was taking pre-med classes as he prepared to start medical school (He never ended up going to medical school…but that is another testimony). We were…you guessed it…BUSY!
So, as we started our married life...BUSY, we decided to make a commitment to set aside time for each other EVERY week. This special time together was in addition to eating dinner together every night and keeping the Sabbath day (yup, no studying on the Sabbath!). We picked Thursday nights for our special night and named it FUNNITE.
We have been celebrating FUNNITE for over 15 years and we have NEVER missed our FUNNITE. Even with six children, the newborn stages, toddlers, sickness, travel, visitors, commitments, church…you name it…we have kept our commitment to our FUNNITE.
Our Funnite Rules
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No excuses. Thursday night is our night. So, regardless of whether I had a test or a paper due, I had to get it done before Thursday because Thursday was OUR night. Now, even with practice and commitments, it is still OUR night.
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No phone calls. No matter who calls, unless it is a dire emergency we are not picking up the phone.
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No money. On a college budget we didn’t have much spending money. We wanted to spend within our means and that meant necessities only. Going out for dinner and/or a movie weekly could be spendy, so we got creative and had FUNNITE at home.
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No double dates. It may sound selfish but we really needed to focus on us and our marriage. So we saved double dates for other days. If we have visiting guests staying with us, we use our FUNNITE as an opportunity to share the importance of making time for each other in marriage.
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No skipping. If something important is happening on Thursday (rarely) and we could not have FUNNITE, we had to make it up on Friday, Saturday, or Sunday.
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No email. No sneaking around to check personal or work email after hours.
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No text. We had to add this one to keep up with technology. There was no texting back then (am I that old???). So basically no form of communication with the outside world!!
What Do We Do For Funnite?
Back in our college days when money was tight (who am I kidding, money is always tight…ha ha), we would cook up a yummy meal together in the kitchen and hang out and watch some of our favorite shows. Now that we have finished our school years and have lots of children, we still do the same thing. The only difference is we try to make meals that the kids won’t eat so we can enjoy something different together as a couple. We also engage in more conversation since we are running around more these days. We watch food shows on Netflix, play board games, or plan our yearly anniversary getaway. As long as we are together, we are having a “FUN-NITE.”
It is so easy to let life get in the way of spending time together as a couple, so we have to be intentional about it (e.g., Thursdays during wrestling season, we don’t start date night until almost 10 p.m. but we still do it). I always look forward to Thursdays because I know no matter how busy the week may be, I have Thursday nights with the love of my life.
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Do you have a date night every week with your spouse? If you don’t have a weekly date night, are you willing to be intentional and commit to setting aside a day just for the two of you regardless of how busy life gets?
I love this! My husband and I used to have a day we reserved for the two of us when we were both in grad school and in the early work day, but unfortunately it has become more of a family day. Don’t get me wrong I love our family time, but I really miss those times. I’ve tried to get him to commit to a day again without much luck. What an inspiration to hear a couple not only doing it, but doing it well! This will be yet another prayer to add to my list.
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Thank you for your kind words! Date nights are a tough one to commit to when you have young ones in the home. Our family night is usually Fridays so the kids give us a “break” on our date nights because they know the next day is our family night. It is healthy for kids to see their parents spending time together. Our kids see us have tea/coffee together when we can on our Sabbath day. Don’t give up. Keep praying. Set up an evening for the two of you to have dinner at home after the kids go to bed (because I know you can cook up a nice meal and chase it with a nice, romantic dessert!). Then do it again the next week and the next. I pray it will be the start of something special. Keep me posted! Blessings.
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I like the idea of scheduling family night after date night. I may have to try that. Unfortunately, with the craziness of my husband’s work schedule and added Spring craziness we haven’t been as diligent about our family nights lately. I need to be more deliberate about maintaining that family time and try harder at the dates. It’s been hard not to get discouraged about our dates, but I like your advice. If everything is all set up, we’ll have no choice.
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I can totally feel where you are coming from. I know it is tough being the pillar in the family. You are the one holding it all together through Christ Jesus. Your marriage is a testimony to this hurting world and God has blessed you. This may be a season of crazy times and busy schedules, which makes it even more important to make time for each other. Choose to make this busy time the best time of your life. Start off with something simple like “Tea, Talk, and Treats” date for 30 minutes. But just start to set aside that time and call it something special for the two of you. It isn’t easy being a homeschooling mom. It takes a lot to still have something to give at the end of the day. May you be blessed in your efforts to enJOY date nights with your husband and family time. Start simple and be consistent and go from there. Check out our family night page. Maybe you will be inspired. Blessings my friend.
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