Food for the Soul

Newlywed Dinner

newlywed dinner

And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil. Ephesians 4:26-27

I remember when I was newly married, I tried to impress my husband by preparing him a special meal. I worked hard in the kitchen preparing a meal from scratch that included a menu of items that I enjoyed. When it came time to eat, I dished out the food and called my husband down for dinner. To my disappointment, he was not as excited about the meal as I was (little Miss Newlywed didn’t think about asking him what he liked). I remember getting VERY upset and letting that anger stir up inside of me. I rehearsed the scenario over and over and over in my mind until I was more angry about it than when it first happened.
conflict

Not too long after being separated in rooms for what seemed like forever in newlywed bliss time  (but actually an hour or two real world time), I decided to approach him and talk. You see, in that time I got down on my knees and prayed. God is the ultimate marriage counselor. I remember just how powerful this verse was at that moment. Both of us were in the wrong but I was not willing to move forward with my marriage allowing anger to stay in my heart. And I sure was not willing to let the enemy have a hold on my marriage. NO WAY!

From that day forward, we committed to what we called the “48- hour rule.” If there was a conflict between us, we had 48 hours to talk about it. Not long after we set that rule, we moved to the “24-hour rule” (more like before bed) so we learned to work through our issues. Once we talk through it we are never to bring it up again, especially to use as fuel in another conflict. We forgive and we move on. Life is too short to live in anger.

This rule has worked so well in our 15+ years of marriage that we have also encouraged our kids to let go of their anger before they lay their heads down to rest. It teaches them to work through their issues sooner than later. It also teaches them that anger and conflict are a normal part of life; it is how we handle it that makes the difference.

Is there someone who has hurt you in some way that you need to let go of? Is there something that you keep talking about or thinking about over and over again that makes you angrier and angrier? Have you prayed about it as much as you have talked or thought about it? My friend, I encourage you to ponder on this verse and ask the Lord to guide you on how you should handle the situation. Consider using the “24-hour rule” in your relationships. Be set free!

free woman

10 thoughts on “Newlywed Dinner”

  1. Oh my goodness…this is so true! I was just married in May and normally we’re pretty good about talking through and figuring out any issues we’re having before we go to sleep. But one night we didn’t and we just sort of let things fester. It was not good and the next day was kind of torture…I think for both of us. But it definitely taught us the importance of “do not let the sun go down on your anger”!

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    1. Congratulations on your marriage! What a wonderful blessing! Even though conflict is hard, it can be a blessing when handled effectively. Sometimes we take the sting before we realize just how precious life really is. I am grateful that you realized how important it is to protect your marriage with forgiveness and resolving your differences before the sun goes down. Many blessings over your marriage. Thank you for sharing some time with me. Blessings.

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  2. Number 1, you make me hungry! Number 2, thank you! You just gave me an idea! My boys have been getting angry a lot lately and it really has taken me of guard. I actually have been getting angry myself. So I will make the “before bed rule” and talk about all of our feelings of the day.

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    1. You are so funny. Glad you like the recipes and found something that inspired you. You are an amazing mom!!! Thank you for the kind words and for hanging out at my place. I enjoy exchanging comments and figuring things out together!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. What can I say, the dinner looks perfect and comforting. With the anger issue, I might have agreed with you, if I knew how it feels. Not knowing anger is no good either. Sometimes it probably helps to keep boundaries. With 41 years of marriage, I wish I had your wisdom.

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  4. great post! My hubby and I do our best to not go to bed angry as well. Once I let it happen and he didn’t even know I was angry. Then the whole day he was at work I was mad and sad and it was silly because if I had just approached him we could have worked it out. We did work it out when he came home but my emotions kept mounting rather than us taking care of it right away. Great advice Tisha!

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    1. Thanks for sharing your experience. It is so easy to hold on to anger. Seems easier to hold on to it than resovle it. I’m happy to hear you work hard on your marriage. That is a wonderful testimony!

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